I guess sometimes no one really truly understand me, when i say no one i do mean it. I know everyone will have their own difficulties but i bet myself is not an easy task. As i had mentioned before, who to share when to share and how to share? No one will really know. That's the reason why in overseas people buy robot? Just to share part of their living environment as robot won't be hurt in any ways? Maybe i need one too, or an animal a pet a toy. But certainly i'm not a weirdo. Some may know but no one will really know. What should i say actually? Nothing much, but just tired. Trying to share might be challenging, as my voice eventually will be risen but whose won't when they're in such situation? I'm still controlling it anyway, and i'm so sure that i'm not doing it on purpose. I just don't know how to start and how to end, i just know whenever i start it, there'll be no good ending. Perhaps it's my own feeling, but is my feeling wrong everytime? I don't think so.
Sometimes it's not a good idea if i say it out when the situation is bad, it's like, putting kerosene on fire, making it worst and i know this will happen even though i was told to straight to the point to tell out all the unhappiness of mine but that's not going to work and i'd done it quite a number of times. I know it sounds uncaring and unloving if i continue to mention things which might be hurtful but the reason for me to do that is just because i'm listening to the advice. And if it has been told, things gonna change anyway. That's the reason why i make it when the environment is sweet and calm. Anyhow, it'll still lead to a bad ending no matter how good or how bad i start it. What am i supposed to do? I mention it now doesn't mean that i'm keeping it behind even when everything is fine, but it's the frustration that couldn't be spoken. I'd prefer so much to close up myself but if i do it, i'm pretty sure it'll be worst than i'm expecting. I need to learn meditation. Somebody please teach me how.
Cheers.
JUN.
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